Making sense where there is none.

Hi there,

people say ‘things happen for a reason’, they also say ‘you go when it’s your time’

Well something happened yesterday that would make the sanest of us doubt the validity of those two statements.

It began like any other, normal day, my partner and I woke up and seeing as we were still on holiday, decided to have a lie in. I got up and made a cup of tea for myself and my beautiful partner and brought them back to bed where we lay reading, relaxing and enjoying our time off together. It was later than usual when we dragged ourselves out of bed. We strolled downstairs, had a bit of breakfast and received a phone call from the estate agent to tell us of an offer that a prospective buyer had made. Things were looking up, perhaps the new year would see some pleasant changes. We began to hope.

We discussed the offer and where would we live should we accept, which was something we hadn’t really talked about. The house had been on the market for so long we never thought that, in this present economic climate that we would ever receive one. We talked and talked and we actually began to make plans, which was something we hadn’t dared do for almost a year.

Then it all changed.

My phone went off while I was in the shower and by the time my partner went to get it, it had rang off and I was left with a text that simply said ‘Ring me’

I knew something was wrong the second I read it. I called her and she was crying, sobbing really and I asked, “What’s wrong?”

All she said was, “Are you sitting down?” Right then I knew it was bad news, the kind of news everyone dreads and my immediate thoughts went to our mother who is 81 years old and not in the best of health. My second thought was her partner who is in his late seventies and also not in the best of health, either of them would be the obvious choice and I could feel my world slipping away. What happened next though, took me completely by surprise and was equally shocking, possibly more so because of who was involved.

She said, “Matt’s been killed,” and I went numb. To say I was in shock would be a grave misconception, this went beyond shock. Matt was her son, my nephew and one of the nicest, kindest. most intelligent people I have had the pleasure and privilege to know, and he was 32 years old.

From what we’ve managed to glean throughout yesterday, he was on his way to work on his motor bike, he overtook a cyclist on a straight piece of road and a pheasant came into his path which he hit. He died instantly in the crash. There was no rider error, he wasn’t going too fast, it was just one of those random acts that are inexplicable.

So, do things happen for a reason, if so can anyone please explain to me, the reason why one of the best friends I ever had would have to die like that. Why would my sister have to endure the loss of her son after losing her husband of over 30 odd years, just over 2 years ago. I don’t believe for a second that it was his time to go. He had some much potential, so much to give and so much left in his life to achieve so don’t tell me it was his time.

How can someone make sense of a situation when it makes no sense? That was what all of us were struggling with along with the grief and loss of our loved one. I spent some time with my sister and her daughter and close family friends and it was a common theme of all our thoughts. What happened made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

How does someone come back from that world shattering tragedy? Simple answer, you endure.

My sister is one of the strongest people I know. She has my admiration, she is my inspiration through bad times and she has always and will always have my undying love and respect. She will endure with all the love and support of family and friends and she will go on.

When I got home last night I spoke to both my children who are grown up with families of their own and was thankful that they, with their families were fine and well. I love them very much and I don’t know if I could cope if I had to go through what my sister is going through right now.

In closing I’ll repeat something my sister said which has an undeniable truth to it. She said, “Live every day as if it’s your last, because one day it will be.”

See you soon,

Jan.

 

 

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About jandomagala

Having worked in the ceramic printing industry since leaving school in the early 70's I've had a passion for the written word. I started writing in the 80's and since discovering the self publishing world have finally seen the first part of my ambition come to fruition, my name in print. Now with the help of wordpress and other promotion tools I hope to see the second part of my ambition come true, to earn a living from writing.
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