Making sense where there is none.

Hi there,

people say ‘things happen for a reason’, they also say ‘you go when it’s your time’

Well something happened yesterday that would make the sanest of us doubt the validity of those two statements.

It began like any other, normal day, my partner and I woke up and seeing as we were still on holiday, decided to have a lie in. I got up and made a cup of tea for myself and my beautiful partner and brought them back to bed where we lay reading, relaxing and enjoying our time off together. It was later than usual when we dragged ourselves out of bed. We strolled downstairs, had a bit of breakfast and received a phone call from the estate agent to tell us of an offer that a prospective buyer had made. Things were looking up, perhaps the new year would see some pleasant changes. We began to hope.

We discussed the offer and where would we live should we accept, which was something we hadn’t really talked about. The house had been on the market for so long we never thought that, in this present economic climate that we would ever receive one. We talked and talked and we actually began to make plans, which was something we hadn’t dared do for almost a year.

Then it all changed.

My phone went off while I was in the shower and by the time my partner went to get it, it had rang off and I was left with a text that simply said ‘Ring me’

I knew something was wrong the second I read it. I called her and she was crying, sobbing really and I asked, “What’s wrong?”

All she said was, “Are you sitting down?” Right then I knew it was bad news, the kind of news everyone dreads and my immediate thoughts went to our mother who is 81 years old and not in the best of health. My second thought was her partner who is in his late seventies and also not in the best of health, either of them would be the obvious choice and I could feel my world slipping away. What happened next though, took me completely by surprise and was equally shocking, possibly more so because of who was involved.

She said, “Matt’s been killed,” and I went numb. To say I was in shock would be a grave misconception, this went beyond shock. Matt was her son, my nephew and one of the nicest, kindest. most intelligent people I have had the pleasure and privilege to know, and he was 32 years old.

From what we’ve managed to glean throughout yesterday, he was on his way to work on his motor bike, he overtook a cyclist on a straight piece of road and a pheasant came into his path which he hit. He died instantly in the crash. There was no rider error, he wasn’t going too fast, it was just one of those random acts that are inexplicable.

So, do things happen for a reason, if so can anyone please explain to me, the reason why one of the best friends I ever had would have to die like that. Why would my sister have to endure the loss of her son after losing her husband of over 30 odd years, just over 2 years ago. I don’t believe for a second that it was his time to go. He had some much potential, so much to give and so much left in his life to achieve so don’t tell me it was his time.

How can someone make sense of a situation when it makes no sense? That was what all of us were struggling with along with the grief and loss of our loved one. I spent some time with my sister and her daughter and close family friends and it was a common theme of all our thoughts. What happened made absolutely no sense whatsoever.

How does someone come back from that world shattering tragedy? Simple answer, you endure.

My sister is one of the strongest people I know. She has my admiration, she is my inspiration through bad times and she has always and will always have my undying love and respect. She will endure with all the love and support of family and friends and she will go on.

When I got home last night I spoke to both my children who are grown up with families of their own and was thankful that they, with their families were fine and well. I love them very much and I don’t know if I could cope if I had to go through what my sister is going through right now.

In closing I’ll repeat something my sister said which has an undeniable truth to it. She said, “Live every day as if it’s your last, because one day it will be.”

See you soon,

Jan.

 

 

All over for another year.

Hi there,

and here we are, we’ve managed to survive another Christmas. A time of the year that is fraught with frustration, greed, over eating, over spending and for what? A time that habitually brings out the worst in people in the run up to the big day, why do we put ourselves through all that for just a few hours of pleasure?

The answer is simple, because it’s also a time of the year that brings out the best in us. Whatever your beliefs, I believe that there is a magic around Christmas time. Whether or not that’s because I’m still a big kid at heart, I don’t honestly know, what I do know is that I have seen it bring out the worst in people and I’ve also been witness to the absolute best in people too.

Is there a point to all this? Probably not, except to say that those few hours that we spent months preparing for are now over again for another year. We survived and, no doubt some of us will be looking forward to next year. I also know some will actually start their preparations in the new year too. Whatever, I would just like to wish you all the best of luck for the coming year, I hope your dreams come true and all your resolutions stay firm.

See you soon,

Jan.

Where has the year gone?

Hi there,

as December approaches, literally around the corner, I find myself remembering sitting down to write about my move to my new home in the Derby shire Dales. That was in February and March and now the year is almost over and Christmas is just a month away. Where has the time gone?

The past year has been filled with wonderment and awe and heartache, the usual mix of huge chunks of bad luck tempered by a little good.

I welcomed a new grandson into the family, I moved home, my interview went on Indiereads.net and those are just a few of the good points. The bad I don’t want to talk about as I’ve touched on a few in earlier posts.

All in all it’s been a good year considering the turmoil the world has been plunged into with the present credit crisis so I’m not complaining. I’m still here, still have my job, my home and family and all my fingers, toes and faculties so what’s to complain about? Lot’s of people are worse off than me and I’m eternally grateful for my good fortune.

Here’s to a more settled year next year,

see you soon,

Jan.

Life is for living.

Hi there,

well this is the first weekend of the new year after the work begun in earnest. The Christmas and new year festivities well and truly behind us as we face this first of many weekends off. The sun is shining and there’s a little breeze and the snow from the previous day is all but a memory.

On a day like today we should get out there and enjoy nature’s bounty. Take a walk in the park, visit friends anything really that get’s us out of the house.

How many days are there like this?

Never leave for tomorrow what you can do today. Life is not infinite, we are on this Earth for a finite period and when that period is over it’s too late to wish we could have done the things that we’ve put off until tomorrow.

There is no excuse for lethargy, life is for living, so live it. I know times are hard and it’s easy to blame not being able to afford doing the stuff you want to but is that the real reason?

How much does it cost to go for a walk in the park or to visit friends or family? Weigh the cost against how you’d feel if you suddenly realised they were no longer around and there were so many things left unsaid.

Don’t let that chance slip by, do the things you want to, see the things you want to see and visit those places you’ve always dreamed of for tomorrow never comes.

And above all, have fun.

See you soon

Jan

Start of the year, proper!

Hi there,

tues 3rd Jan, and my last day of the Christmas holidays and my last chance to relax before the year starts properly with me returning to work, probably with a groan.

This is my lasy chance to do all the things I like to do in my spare time; like relaxing, writing, watching some tv, going for a walk and endless other things but with work starting tomorrow I’ll probably do only a few of those things as preparations for the start of said work have to be done.

Having said that it is like the start to the new year, a proper start, the actual start where things get back to their usual pace. We get back to work, the kids go back to school and the Christmas and new year’s festivities are resigned to just memories to be mulled over with friends and work colleagues.

Where I work change will be evident for a few days at least as we’ve gone from a small family owned business to a limited company so it’s a new start there for everyone too.

At the start of this post I mentioned I’d be starting work tomorrow with a groan, that’s not strictly true, I’ll be looking forward to the return as a challenge. To see what changes are thrown at us and to face them, as always the only way we can, head on, or will it simply be more of the same only time will tell. You can guarantee though I will be reporting it on here if for nothing else for something to write about.

Well that’s it for now, my initial thoughts for the day are here for everyone to peruse at their leisure. If anything else comes to mind you can be sure I’ll put it down here later, for now though I’ll bid you adieu

See you soon,

Jan

Ideas for Post once a week/2011

Hi there,

I read recently about an idea the admin have had for giving people on wordpress inspiration to write more, and thought I’d give it a go.

Two ways this idea can be used, post every day or once a week, I thought I’d try the once a week thingy and anything after that is a bonus.

Not putting too much pressure on myself I’m trying this unofficially, by that I mean I’ve not added the tags required to enter this thing, I’m not sure if it’s a competition or just something someone suggested to give people like me a chance to connect with other a little more and at the same time gain some experience in blogging.

However, so far I’ve managed to add a post every day since seeing this and I’m quite enjoying it. I can’t guarantee the input will remain at this level once I start back to work on tues but I’ll certainly try.

I know this sounds a bit like waffling, a lot of words that don’t really mean or say much but if the purpose of the idea was to get people like me to blog more regardless of the content then so far it’s been a success. In time the quality of the content will improve I’m sure, no one who writes get’s worse at it the more they do so having said that, I bid you farewell for now,

see you soon

Jan

New start

Hi there,

Happy New Year

Well this is it, the first day of a brand new year, all the hopes and dreams from the previous year not completed carried over from 2010 along with some new ones.

I hope everyone reaches their full potential this year and fulfils all their dreams for without dreams or hope what have we except the humdrum of ordinary life. If we dream to be better then that is the first step on the road to fulfilment, we have to know what we want before we can go out and get it.

I for one will be trying to reach my ambition of becoming a writer and by that I mean someone who earns money from writing. I hope to actually garner a readership, a following for my books, people who enjoy reading my work and look forward to the next instalment. At this point in time I would be happy with that, I’m not looking to break any records, not seeking fame just the satisfaction of knowing some people enjoy my work. Having said that if one of my books did reach the best seller list then I would be ecstatic but I’m realistic enough to know that before that happens I have a lot of work to do.

Until then though I’ll keep plodding on, trying to become the best writer I can and hope that something I write will connect with someone out there and they pass on the good word.

Again I would just like to wish everyone all the best for the coming year,

see you soon

Jan

Out with the old, in with the new

2010 is coming to a close, for some of you out there it will be a blessing that an awful year is over and the promise of better to come is just around the corner. For others it will be a year that’s been so great that you don’t want it to end.

For most of the rest of us though it will be more of the same, SSDD, same shit, different day.

Having said that, I look forward to the coming year with optimism, as I do every year, in the hope that this next year will be different, will be filled with some good fortune instead of the usual disappointment and what I’v come to realise is this. Although there are down sides in every year there are the good points too. I know this coming year will be basically more of the same but I choose to focus more on what can be done rather than what can’t.

2011 will see the birth of my second grandchild from my wonderful daughter who I know will be a great mum, my wonderful son has already fathered a fantastic little man, my first grandchild who will be four years old. These are positives that I’ll take with me into the new year. My wonderful girlfriend will be standing by me through the coming events and sharing them along with giving me support, inspiration and confidence to pursue my writing career which I hope will see some success too.

All in all I look forward to 2011 with optimism, hope and a sense of wonder and I wish everyone the same for their coming year too.

See you soon,

Jan.

Where did it go?

The run up to Christmas seemed to go on forever, endless preparations, work that had to be got out on time rushing around trying to fit four weeks into three, wrapping presents, cooking the Christmas roast and now, it’s all over.

Where did it all go? no sooner than I was thinking it was getting close and then it was all over and I can’t help wonder if all the fuss was worth it.

The short answer is, of course it was!

Seeing the faces of those who received the presents light up, enjoying the time spent with family, even if it was for a short space of time, enjoying the time off work of course it was all worth it. It’s just a pity that the good feelings we all enjoy on the day couldn’t be spread throughout the year a little more evenly, maybe there would be less strife in the world if it was.

Okay that’s the sermon over, hope you all had as good a time as I did and no doubt some had an even better time lol

See you all soon and have a very happy new year

Jan